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Apr 25, 2008



As someone who had harboured a desire to be a sannyasi, I am familiar with your emotions and thoughts.

I will not discuss the question of who or what is right. As far as I know RK math do not accept everyone into their fold. They try to discourage you in the initial stages (I was advised to lead a family life). So if your brother did not have something special in him he would not have been initiated. What I really want to tell you is this. It is a very very hard decision for anyone to take. I know! Its really hard.

I understand your pain and feeling of betrayal. But please give a thought to how he might have felt. He would have suffered immensely before achieving that calm(?) state of conviction. Oh God! That inner turmoil is unbearable! I could not survive (didnt have the courage) and returned to material life pretty fast and smooth.

My deep belief is that there is something special in your brother and he is pursuing his inner call. I know that you can not 'rejoice' over it but try to find relief in the fact that he is content in his new life. I wish I could say more to ease your pain.


Requote: "In the Math, gates were open and nobody was stopping him. He was free to roam in the compound and even if he agreed to come with me. They would surely send him. He was there free like a bird. If he is willing to return, he could do that any time. That is a big 'if' though"...

This was the most touching part - your helplessness knew no bounds, you didnt know where to turn for a quick remedy- the inflicted agony is relived again and again with immense pain and intensity by the author. Even the most tranquil atmosphere didnt console you...possessiveness, affection, care for ones sibling are all merged with your self tolerant, self sufferer image.

The questions raised at the end on spirituality are extremely worth for a beginner, who was forced to learn a subject, unexpectedly at a rapid pace, that too with qualm.

Let learnt personalities respond to them...
Let also your brother understand you better...
Let us hope that he returns as you wish, for a balanced materialistic + spiritual life, of his choice, to the satisfaction of his family...

Rajesh Kumar

The real life story by Akash Prakash is a blend of philosophy and emotion. Sometimes even difficult to draw the demarkation line of real life drama and a Beautiful Poem. I will continue reading and write again - Rajesh


Hai Akash,
I have been following your article on spirituality sincerely, from the first post, which was quite strong emotionally. I have been empathising from then on, how I would have proceeded had it been with me...Impact was so immense...
As you quoted let others shield their siblings and kids...
Please go ahead with the vent off...It would definitely bring you solace, one way or other.

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